Dean: Yeah, well, we can't save the world,not today anyway. But what we can do is chop off some vamps' heads. Come on, man, it's like the good old days. An honest-to-goodness monster hunt. It's about time the Winchesters got back to tackling a straightforward, black-and-white case.
Dean: We still got to see the new "Raiders" movie. Sam: Saw it. Dean: Without me? Sam: You were in hell. Dean: That's no excuse.
彼はまだ新作を見ていないようだ。と、それを特に気にする様子もなく、でっかいプレッツェルを買いに行った。そんな兄貴を見て弟は微笑んだ。まさにgood old daysってやつだ。
Dean: Oh, he doesn't drink. He's a Christian scientist. Doesn't even take aspirin. He's a real drag on stakeouts. Jamie: You're funny. Dean: I'm a lot more than that. I'd love to get a chance to show you the rest. What time you get off? Jamie: Ha ha. Like I said, "funny."
Dean: I came back from the furnace without any of my old scars, right? You know, bullet wounds, knife cuts, None of the off-angled fingers from all the breaks. I mean, my hide is as smooth as a baby's bottom, which leads me to conclude, sadly... that my virginity is intact. Sam: What? Dean: I have been re-hymenated. Sam: Please. Dean, maybe angels can pull you out of hell, but no one could do that. Dean: Brother, I have been re-hymenated. And the dude will not abide.
Dean: Feel familiar to you? Sam: Oh, man. Dean: The skin of a shape-shifter, just like St. Louis and just like Milwaukee. Of course this one's all holding buckets of crazy. Oh, and, uh... This must have fallen off during the fight.
Jamie: So, this is what you do? You and your partner just tramp across the country on your own dime until you find some horrible nightmare to fight? Dean: Some people paying. Jamie: Wow. Dean: What? Jamie: That must suck. I mean, you're giving up your life for this terrible... I don't know, responsibility. Dean: Last few years, I started thinking that way, and, uh, you know, it started sort of weighing on me. Of course, that was before... a little while ago, I had this – it's called a near-death experience. Very near.
Dean: And... when I came to... things were different. My life's been different. I realize that I help people. Not just help them, though. I save them. I guess it's – it's awesome. It's kind of like a gift... like a mission. Kind of like a... a mission from God. Jamie: So, does that make you... some kind of monk or something? You know, celibate? Dean: Man, I hope not.
Dean: Crazy son of a bitch you really are. You're not Dracula. You get that, right? Or even if you think you are Dracula, what the hell's up with the mummy?
Shape-shifter: I am all monsters! Dean: Life ain't a movie, you sorry sack of...
Shape-shifter: Life is small, Meager, messy. The movies are grand, simple, elegant. I have chosen elegance. Dean: You think "elegance" is really the word for what you did to Marissa or Rick Deacon or any of the others? Shape-shifter: But of course. It is a monster movie, after all. Dean: You do realize what happens at the end of every monster movie? Shape-shifter: Ah. But this movie is mine. And in it, the monster wins. The monster gets the girl. And the hero, he's... electrocuted.
Shapeshifter: And tonight, Jonathan Harker, you will be my hero. Dean: Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Shape-shifter: I used to love the movies. Jamie: They aren't real. You can't make them real. Shape-shifter: "Real" is being born this way. Different. "Real" is having your Dad call you "monster". It's the first time you hear the word and he tries to beat you to death with a shovel. Everywhere I ran, everywhere I tried to hide, people found me, dragged me out and attacked me, Called me "freak," called me "monster." Then I found them. The great monsters. In their movies, they were strong. They were feared. They were beautiful. And now I am like them. Commanding. Terrifying. Jamie: Lonely. Shape-shifter: Was lonely. Now I have you. Jamie: Ever think that maybe you're lonely because you kill people? Shape-shifter: Or I kill people because I'm lonely.
Jamie: You guys saved my life, you know? So, thanks.
Sam: I like her. Dean: Feels good to be back on the job, doesn't it? Sam: Yeah, it does. Dean: The hero gets the girl, monster gets the gank – all in all, happy ending. With a happy ending, no less. Sam: Real classy, Dean. Dean: Hey, all I'm saying is the shifter man had a point, you know? It would be nice if life was movie simple. Although, if I was turning life into a movie, I wouldn't do this "Abbott and Costello Meet the Monster" crap. Sam: Yeah. no, I know what you'd pick. Dean: No, you don't. Sam: Yeah, I do. Dean: No, you don't. You don't. Sam: "Porky's II." Dean: What? Sam: You heard me. Dean: Lucky guess.
Stars: Jared Padalecki as Sam Winchester Jensen Ackles as Dean Winchester
Guest Stars: Todd Stashwick as Dracula Melinda Sward as Jamie Holly Dignard as Lucy Michael Eklund as Ed Brewer Garry Chalk as Sheriff Deitrich Todd Scott as Security Guard Carmen Lavigne as Anne Marie John Stewart as Rick Deacon